We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
