i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
