Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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