they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
