It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She even gives head with a lisp.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
