i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
