Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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