is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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