This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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