The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
