that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
