I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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