so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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