just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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