GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
