he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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