My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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