So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
