I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
