question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
did you just send me my own nude
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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