i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
