after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
