we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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