I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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