...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
