I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
