were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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