I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
