they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
