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can u get pink eye on your cock?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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