He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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