Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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