Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
wow bdsm is so cute
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
