I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
