i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
whose parrot is this?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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