alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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