But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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