i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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