just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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