someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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