Ketchup is God's man juice
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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