You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
