We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
