i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
