Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
