He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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