Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
third nipple confirmed
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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