stop calling my apartment porn island.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
