dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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