you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
